Geeks On Tinder That Didn't Fail to Set Cringe Thrusters To Full With Cheesy Banter

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mattstaff
Sep 24, 2019 7:00 PM EDT

Well well, these were generally uncomfortable to read through. Does make you wonder how successful their attempts were, or rather, how quickly they were able to achieve 'unmatched' status. 

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  • 01
    Text - ROGERS 3G 1 81% 17:22 Javen wvell ot ye outT was considering trying Feb 18, 2015, 17:04 I should warn you that I'm just as awkward as any other engineer I can name all the members of the Jedi council. Damn. I can't even do that. I can also describe the plot to every Seinfeld episode. I can only assume this is making your engeering panties wet. Send Message
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  • 02
    Text - 4G 47% 11:38 AM Hán Messages About Are you on tinder because you're solo 2 mins ago Ilove you Now I know. Now
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  • 03
    Text - 2:51 PM Messages About Are you from Japan? Cause I'm trying to get in Japanties 3 mins ago no I'm Finnish. Now Finnish with this conversation. Now HAHA just kidding Now
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  • 04
    Text - 89% 9:43 Sammie Messages About Are you a seeker cause you look like a good catch ;) 29 mins ago If that Harry potter pick up line doesn't work then don't know what will 29 mins ago I don't like Harry Potter. 12 mins ago Dam I thought that would have worked:(what do you like? 4 mins ago Dick.. 3 mins ago Send a message
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  • 05
    Poster - 14:0 iPod Done Bella, 19 71 kilometers away Active 3 weeks ago About Bella On a first date I will carve our initials in a tree. It's the most romantic way to let you know I have a knife. Shared Interests (1)
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  • 06
    Text - oo ROGERS O 14% 10:16 PM Lana Sep 15, 2014, 4:53 PM Lana Lana! LANA! LANAAAAA!!! Sep 15, 2014, 9:55 PM Helloo Danger Zone What? Send Message
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  • 07
    Text - AT&T 4:29 69° Jenny Messages About Well...I'm a wizard Jul 31, 2014 11:12 PM Prove it Jul 31, 2014 11:13 PM Accio Digits!! Jul 31, 2014 11:13 PM Daaaaaaaaaaamn Jul 31, 2014 11:13 PM That was smooth Jul 31, 2014 11:13 PM I try Jul 31, 2014 11:14 PM My #is Jul 31, 2014 11:14 PM Send a message
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  • 08
    Arm - 13%D 0o Sprint 3G 11:29 PM Done Afshin, 24 3 miles away active 15 hours ago About Afshin "You take the blue pil, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and beleve whatever you want to beleve. You take the red pil, you stay in wonderland, and I show you how deep your butthole goes
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  • 09
    Text - 6:54 AM 90% Messag About 17 years passed from the time Frodo inherited the Ring of Power from Bilbo to when he set out from the Shire to destroy it. That's how long I was going to try to wait to message you, but I decided I'd go the Peter Jackson route and speed things up a bit. Sun 1:05 AM I've been staring at this comment trying to think of something equally beautiful to reply with, but words have thus far fallen short Thu 11:45 PM 1
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  • 10
    Text - oo Verizon 3:22 PM 36% Dina Jan 19, 2015, 2:35 PM Hi Jan 19, 2015, 3:10 PM Hey Dina, do you like hang gliding? Never tried it before but sure why I would love to see a Dina soar Is that supposed to be funny? I thought it was Dina mite Send Message
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  • 11
    Text - * Voda NZ 10 34% 0:29 Jim Did you survive the Avada Kadavara curse? Because you're drop dead gorgeous It's lines like that that make me want to slytherin to bed with you ;) You don't have to say Lumos to turn me on ;p Wouldn't want you whomping your willow solo I could show you my chamber of secrets ;) Send Message
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  • 12
    Text - Voda NZ 10 34% 0:29 Jim You look like a good quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick? You know, when I said "accio hottie", I didn't expect to work. :P long as I don't have to say petrificus totalus to get you hard You're like a bottle of ske- gro because my bone's growing You'll need some gillyweed you're making me so wet Send Message
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  • 13
    Text - Voda NZ 10 34% 0:29 Jim I get a big patronus just by thinking of you When I look in the mirror of erised I see you and I together I'm a seeker and you must have my golden snitch Dang I was hoping you were searching for the 8th horcrux I'm hiding in my panties I'l happily destroy it for you Aand scene. Good hustle Send Message
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  • 14
    Text - 6:00 PM 38% ages About How much does a polar bear weigh? 6 mins ago Lucky for you I'm a polar bear expert 775 to 1,200 pounds 4 mins ago So enough to break the ic.. 3 mins ago Typically ice in the Artic can hold up to 4 thousand pounds, but if that polar bear were to be on lake Michigan then yes, enough to break the ice. Why do you ask? Now Send a message
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  • 15
    Text - oo AT&T LTE 1 55% 12:26 AM Done CURIOUS? FIFTY SHADE Christian, 18 13 miles away Active 2 hours ago About Christian "Curious?" My 3DS XL isn't the only big thing in my pants
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  • 16
    Text - oo Verizon LTE 29%L 22:23 Laura Aug 24, 2014, 03:28 Accio Laura Aug 31, 2014, 10:44 I'm confused, how did this not work? Stupid wand on the fritz again. It hasn't been the same since I fixed it with spell-o-tape. Aug 31, 2014, 22:03 Oops hahah my bad. I got on tinder once last week and forgot about it. All HP references are very much appreciated Aug 31, 2014, 22:22 Also, spell-o-tape? You're not Ron Weasley, are you? I might not be Ron Weasley but I'm definitely a Keeper. Send Message
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